The school board will vote on Monday at 7p.m. on behalf of junior Jim Stack’s request to grow his hair out to donate to the nonprofit organization, Locks of Love.
“Donating my hair to Locks of Love is a very special project to me,” Stack said.
Locks of Love accepts donations of at least 10 inches of hair. The school dress code prohibits male students from having hair past their collar. Principal Tonya King initially denied Stack’s request because it would break school dress code.
“Had I approved Jim’s request, then I would have students every day asking if they also could break the dress code. We have rules for a reason, and we just can’t go breaking them anytime we want,” King said.
King knows about Stack’s sister and understands why he wants to grow his hair out. She can’t allow one person to break the rules without being unfair. She suggests that he help in some other way.
“He [Stack] could have a fundraiser and donate the money to the organization. I would be more than willing to help with the fundraiser,” King said.
Stack contacted the president of Locks of Love, Gisel Roco, and spoke to her about the best way to help. She informed him that the group works entirely on donations, and the best way for him to help is to donate hair for a wig.
“We desperately need human hair for our wigs,” Roco said. “Every month we receive about 200 requests from families who cannot afford a wig for their sick child, and every month we have to turn down about 150 of those requests.”
Locks of Love wrote a letter that stated Stack applied to be a donor and his parents give him permission. Gilbert Castillo, student council president, supports Stack. In fact, the student council also wrote a letter to the school board. 350 students signed the letter and 150 students were willing to grow their hair to donate to Locks of Love. Out of the 150 students willing, 78 were males.
“Rules were made to be broken, and this is a very good reason to break one,” Castillo said.
Bad-
1. wording in lead was confusing.
2. a nonprofit what? paragraph 3
3. maybe go into more depth in the tranistions
Good-
1. Good connection between quotes and transitions
2. follows all rules
3. good quotes
1. What time does the meeting happen? There are 24 hours in a day. It could be at 2a.m. or 9p.m.
2. You repeated what Locks of Love is twice, once in the lead, and once in the first transition.
3. In my opinion, I don’t think your last quote and your last transition fit together
1. All of your transitions and quotes, except those few, are great!
2. I like how you put how many people were willing to grow their hair and that 78 were guys.
3. I like how you told about how many people Locks of Love has to turn down.
The school board will vote on Monday on behalf of junior Jim Stack’s request to grow his hair out to donate to the nonprofit organization, Locks of Love.
“Donating my hair to Locks of Love is a very special project to me,” Stack said.
Locks of Love, a nonprofit that donates wigs to people who lose their hair, accepts donations of at least 10 inches of hair. The school dress code prohibits male students from having hair past their collar. Principal Tonya King initially denied Stack’s request because it would break school dress code.
“Had I approved Jim’s request, then I would have students every day asking if they also could break the dress code. We have rules for a reason, and we just can’t go breaking them anytime we want,” King said.
King knows about Stack’s sister and understands why he wants to grow his hair out. She can’t allow one person to break the rules without being unfair. She suggests that he help in some other way. THIS IS AN OPINION. YOU NEED TO REWRITE THIS TRANSITION.
“He [Stack] could have a fundraiser and donate the money to the organization. I would be more than willing to help with the fundraiser,” King said.
Stack contacted the president of Locks of Love, Gisel Roco, and spoke to her about the best way to help. She informed him that the group works entirely on donations, and the best way for him to help is to donate hair for a wig.
“We desperately need human hair for our wigs,” Roco said. “Every month we receive about 200 requests from families who cannot afford a wig for their sick child, and every month we have to turn down about 150 of those requests.”
Locks of Love wrote a letter that stated Stack applied to be a donor and his parents give him permission. Gilbert Castillo, student council president, supports Stack. In fact, the student council also wrote a letter to the school board. 350 students signed the letter and 150 students were willing to grow their hair to donate to Locks of Love. Out of the 150 students willing, 78 were males.
“Rules were made to be broken, and this is a very good reason to break one,” Castillo said.
GREAT JOB!